Thursday, August 20, 2009

Missed sleep. Afternoons were inevitably spent with some tutor or instructor. I came to understand that these were my.

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And this woman was beautiful almost too beautiful for the good of one's soul I guess. And he must have loved her for when she went out of his life it was as if he had sunk into a black pit out of which he could never rise. I have asked myself often if he would have loved her if she had been less beautiful--even quite plain and I have answered myself as he answered that question in the affirmative. It was born in him to worship wherever he loved at all. Her beauty made a certain sort of completeness for him. He treasured that. He was proud of it. He counted himself the richest man in the world because he possessed it. But deep under his worship of her beauty he loved _her_. I am more and more sure of that and I am equally sure that time will prove it--that he will never rise again with his old hope and faith out of that black pit into which he sank when he came face to face with the realization that there were forces.
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